Sunday, September 18, 2011

noun /səˈvilətē/ 
1.    “Courtesy in behavior or speech”

Last week, I posted my response to the Ann Coulter 'drive-by op-ed' on this blog, and later that week, on Since then, it has received more than 3,500 views. I am gratified at the response, but suspect it had much more to do with the name Coulter than it did with the name Moore. 

Less gratifying, unfortunately, were many of the comments I received about the article. If you read the article, you may remember that my hypothesis was that people should be judged one at a time, and not by any group with which they are affiliated. Affiliation with a group is not tacit endorsement of everything done by everything in that group. I am a Christian, but I don't endorse abortion clinic bombings; or for that matter violence of any nature in the name of God.  Nobody wants (or deserves) to be judged by the actions of everyone in a group they belong to, or worst of all, a family into which they were born. That's prejudice, bias and sometimes hatred.

While I did not tally up the 'for' and 'against,' in the comments, it appeared to be about two-thirds in favor of the article, and the remaining one-third.....well, they hated my guts. With the exception of one or two actual attempts to debate the subject matter, the rest (50 or so) were simply personal attacks. And not just on me, but on my wife, too! Where did that come from?  The bottom line, however, is that the dissenters on this article either didn't read the article, or are heroically trying to prove me right. They also illustrate why I have elected not to receive comments on my articles on this blog.

I present some of the more entertaining (and less threatening or vulgar) comments, solely to strengthen the hypothesis of my article.  Enjoy.

My Favorites:

“Moore can go on over to Red China and enjoy retirement with his Commie peers” (Is California an acceptable substitute?)

“Not only do you not speak Italian, but you have never even been to Italy.”  (True. I do not speak Italian. How I ever thought I could investigate a crime is beyond me. Good thing the FBI never asked. As far as never being in Italy, several airlines owe me a refund.)

We know you are not very well educated, Mr Moore”  (This is not my fault, private universities are not what they used to be.)

"You and your eccentric wife….. are useless, publicity-obsessed clowns." (We are not useless.)

Shut up, Moore - you fat clown.(I thought you had to be tall and intelligent to get into the FBI.) (You do. I got a waiver.)

·         "....moronic, delinquent three-year-old...."  (You forgot about the part in the article where you disagreed with me. You know, what I'm wrong about?)
·        "Shut up Michelle - you Moron." (Apparently, one reader felt that a pro-Steve poster was actually Michelle. It wasn’t)
"Don't forget that as well as Mr Moore's extensive career and military credentials, Jesus would also like him for a sunbeam." (That hurts, as it obviously came from a Baptist. Or a Nirvana fan.)

"You are raving…... Calm down and find a job." (I was excited until I found out the word wasn't 'ravishing.')

"Wasn't smart enough to go to EITHER med school or law school." (Again, an obvious requirement for investigations or opinions. Not sure if I was or was not smart enough. Never applied to either. I did get a congressional nomination to the Air Force Academy. Again, education failed me.)

"...Pilot that became a campus security guard..."  (I just always wanted to ride in golf carts)

"I feel sorry for your shallow intellect."  (Mom? Is that you?)

"What, are you a Communist now that you're out of the FBI, which you infiltrated." (Confused. Did I infiltrate the communists or the FBI?)

"You are a self-destructive nut without a cause.....
mercurial madness...." (The "mercurial madness" allegation made me really mad. Then, it didn't. Then it did again.)

"Are you trying to kill your own mother?, what an opening to your crappy opinion piece." (How is that tin-foil hat working out for you?)

"You gonna plop on your fat behind. Roll down the hill, baby…." (Stop looking at my butt.)

"You've always hated women. Now it's Ann Coulter alias your Mom. Maybe Mom and Ann both have gunsafe fuller than yours, that the problem?" (Mom's gun safe can't hold a candle to mine.)

"When are you going to turn on Michelle and Megan(sic)?" (I already turn-on Michelle. Meg will always see me as just "dad." But thanks for the gross question.)

"Steve was reassigned as a pilot and is awfully young to have "retired" from the FBI."  (Awwwwww.....shucks. Thank you.)

"I feel genuine pity for the man and hope that he can find effective treatment."  (Doctors have determined that the most effective treatment for me involves hand-rolled cigars and single-malt scotch. I accept donations care of I KNOW some of you are from the UK. Give 'till it hurts.)

"You are clearly beyond educating, Moore. Find yourself an easy job and leave the serious stuff to clever people." (I'm looking into politics.)

"Mr Moore and his wife lost every single shred of credibility outside of the US bible belt when they said they were doing God's work….[they] should be ignored immediately due to their over reliance on myths and 2000 year old fairy stories.  If you want to get any respect back Steve, start listening to reason as opposed to God or your wife." (Remember, ignore Steve because he believes in God, not because of facts. Obviously, nobody who believes in God can be competent. I sincerely hope your next airline pilot doesn't believe in God.)

"Go read some Richard Dawkins, Phillip Pullman and Douglas Adams then laugh at your bible and start living your life without fear of someone who doesn't actually exist."  (Let's bet on the whole 'existence of God' thing. No money, we've already got more than that riding on it.)

"To begin with you say you are a career FBI agent. OK so why is it, given your age, you are no longer employed by the FBI?" (How old do you think I am?)

"You state that you have all these qualifications. (Helicopter pilot etc;) So how come you are not gainfully employed ferrying workers out to oil rigs in the gulf?"  (Have you ever been to Morgan City, Louisiana?)

"An undercover agent! How exciting, and how long did you sit in the car wearing a suit as a disguise while eating donuts?" (Not sure if Apple Fritters are officially donuts.)

"A certified sniper. Congratulations upon being able to hit a barn from the inside..." (I think you are unclear on the concept....You don't happen to live in a barn, do you? Would you mind terribly standing next to one?)

"Thank God your wife is working, probably at MacDonalds (sic)."  (So that's where you've been Michelle?)

I'll finish with something that will (regrettably) enrage some of my new "fans:" A closing analogy which mentions both guns and God.  

When I was on SWAT, my son once asked me what I would do if a gang-banger tried to shoot me with a machine gun. (That's the gun part)

     "I would thank God," I said. (That's the God part)

     "Why??" He asked, incredulous. 

The answer was very simple. Once the trigger is pulled, a machine gun is about as controllable as a fire hose (which is frequently manned by two fire fighters.) Unless a person is highly trained, machine guns cannot be aimed once it starts firing. And firing at 800 rounds a minute, they will empty themselves in about two seconds. So all the bullets go over your head, and the shooter is unarmed almost immediately. The shooters who concerned us were those who were careful, deliberate, held a gun properly and seemed to know what they were doing.  The individuals who responded to my article are like those machine-gun-toting gang-bangers. Their 'weapons' apparently made them feel powerful, yet ultimately, their responses were un-reasoned, out of control, and completely ineffectual.  I'm almost disappointed, because the facts are on my side.  

And Michelle, please bring home a Big Mac. Combo. And Super-Size it.